I had a David Cross moment1 yesterday.
I’d gone on a long drive, as I tend to do some weekends in order to take photos for my photoblog, LeftyRodriguez.Com, and found myself in the town of Bonham, Texas, which is northeast of Dallas close to the border with Oklahoma (or Texas’ Canada). I felt a bit peckish, but the fast food restaurants I could find were Subway (ugh…) and McDonald’s. Throwing caution to the wind, I settled on McDonald’s. I parked the RiflemanMobile III and went inside, electing to order a couple of Spicy McChickens and an order of fries (yum…sodium).
After getting my order, I went to the condiment bar and was gathering some salt and pepper and ketchup from those annoyingly-slow pressurized ketchup dispensers when this big, burly, kind of toothless redneck guy pushed himself past me to get some salt and said “Watch out, faggot”.
“Watch out, faggot”? Huh? I don’t look particularly faggot-ish (though I guess I might be kind of bear-ish), but, really, I’m not gay. Sorry. Or maybe I’m so gay that I’ve come full circle and like women. Or something.
Maybe it was the sort-of plaid shorts I was wearing.
1 “Here’s a little what it was like for me growing up in Atlanta… They had this ill-fated thing called ‘Light Up Atlanta’. So, I’m standing in line… I tap the guy in front of me and say, “Uh, excuse me, can you tell me if this is the line for the beer, or the line to get the tickets to get the beer.’ [long pause] ‘I dunno, faggot.’ I don’t know, faggot? What? What did I do? Was it because I was sucking his cock at the time?”