Work

Glad I Don’t Eat There

Written by  on December 28, 2009

Just walked into the 2nd floor restroom at my office building to witness one of the Spaniards that work in the commissary finish peeing then NOT wash his hands before returning to work. Lesson to take away: don’t eat at the Summit Cafe in the Sterling Commerce Building unless you love urine-infused food.

Just sayin’. That’s all.

Ugh

Written by  on December 28, 2009

So, here I am at work, minding my own business, killing time reading random Wikipedia articles (so far today, I’ve learned about the Tu-114 jet, the 1989-1990 New Jersey Nets and the ease-of-pronunciation-challenged village of Zborczyce, Poland (the land of Po!)), when all I’ve heard all day from the next row of cubes over is constant coughing. And not the slightly-annoying cough of someone with a tickle in their throat, but rather the wet hacking of someone who’s smoked about 50,000 too many unfiltered Camels in their life. I wandered over to investigate who it was and found it to be our DBA, a Chinese man whose only normal annoyance is when he digs into chip bags way too loudly for his mid-afternoon snack.

Does he have swine flu? Avian flu? Did SARS (remember that?) make a comeback?

Who knows? All I know is that it’s fucking annoying, probably exposing me to the Yellow fever and making my eyes feel slanty.

At least he’s not farting constantly, like this guy that used to work in the next cube over. He got fired a couple of years ago, supposedly for laziness and lack of skills (or mad-skillz), but I know the real reason: constant wet farting.

Oh well, back to the grind. The spice must flow. Or something like that.

Huh?

Written by  on June 8, 2009

This is on a bulletin board at the office? WTF?

Illiterate Co-Workers

Written by  on July 3, 2008

I just got the following email from a project lead here at the office:

To clarify,

There will be no daily meeting today (or tomorrow) for [redacted].  Have a good fourth celebrating our countries’ birthday!

So, does he mean that we have more than one country?  Or does he perhaps mean “our country’s”?  I’m confused.

Freeballin’

Written by  on June 25, 2008

I was just on a conference call and a guy at another office kept calling one of my co-workers by the wrong name.  All of the sudden, he explained himself by saying “my apologies…I’m going commando today…too much on my mind”.

WTF?  TMI?

Also, I’m pretty sure that I was the only participant that picked up on what he said.  Maybe “going commando” means something totally different in Tulsa than it does in Dallas and the rest of the free world, so perhaps he didn’t know others might think he was walking around without any underwear.

In Microsoft Word, You Can Invoke It With F7

Written by  on June 24, 2008

Memo to my co-workers, or at least the one that made the sign warning us that one of the conference rooms is closed for renovations. It’s spelled “Cooperation”, not “Corroporation”. Does spell-check not work on your PC? Really?

Random IM Conversation with A Co-Worker

Written by  on January 15, 2008

Scot [1:46 PM]:
did you see pulp fiction
Rifleman [1:46 PM]:
of course
Scot [1:47 PM]:
one of my favorite parts is when they are holding up the cafe and sammy jackson pulls his gun and says give me back my wallet – and the guy ask which one was his
Scot [1:48 PM]:
he says the one that  says bad muferfucker on it
Scot [1:48 PM]:
I dont think they spelled it that way in the movie though
Rifleman [1:49 PM]:
probably not
Scot [1:50 PM]:
I was close
Rifleman [1:50 PM]:
Do you call your parents your “mufer” and “fafer”?
Scot [1:51 PM]:
hey…dont make fun of me fifch

???

Written by  on January 10, 2008

So I just randomly got an IM from a co-worker.  All it said was:

I think when a guy gets snow on the mountain and has a beard – he has earned that right of passage

Huh?  No context or anything…

Bah

Written by  on November 15, 2007

Okay, I confess: I’m a slacker. At least when it comes to this website. You’ve probably noticed that I haven’t actually updated it lately…I’ve been way too busy contending with work-related issues (see…I have a job…I’m not a total slacker). It all started a couple of months ago when a certain (now former) co-worker I liked to call Captain Tool decided it’d be a good idea to quit, only give a few days notice. And while I despised this particular individual, I didn’t relish him quitting, as I got to take over his job while trying to do my own work too.

And because of hiring issues, etc., I’ve been doing two jobs for two months. 60 hour weeks, which has left very little time for outside funosity (though I have found the time to update my photoblog daily). Luckily, I finally got an underling this week, so as soon as I get all my extra work transitioned to him, I can start maybe paying attention to other things, like this website and interpersonal relationships and whatnot.

In the meantime, here are a few things that make me sad:

-The Dallas Stars
-The Greedy Writers Guild of America strike
-It’s almost my birthday again..bah

Things that make me happy:
-The week of vacation I’m going to try to take in December
-Thanksgiving turkey next week
-Titties!

Blah Blah Blah

Written by  on March 15, 2005

I just noticed that I hadn’t really blogged in a while. And while I could just chalk this up to oversight on my part, I won’t. No, the sad, long truth is that I just haven’t had a lot to write about lately. I suppose I could always just take something really mundane, like chewing gum, and turn that into a long and pointless blog, but where’s the fun in that?

So, what’s been going on lately with me? Well, as you may know, I was funemployed for a few weeks, which kind of sucked in that I kind of felt purposeless without a job to go to everyday, but at the same time gave me a chance to catch up on much-needed sleep and pornography downloading. Alas, however, the fun couldn’t last forever and I found myself accepting a position with a digital media company in Las Colinas. It’s not a bad job, and quite a significant raise over what I was making. And, hey, you can’t go wrong with more dosh, can you?

So, while I’ve busied myself getting up to speed at the new job, I haven’t had all that much time to have wacky adventures. I went to the ol’ hometown a couple of weeks ago and played some NTN trivia and drank beer with Minotaur, as we tend to do on occasion. Unfortunately, there was nothing really wrong that weekend, so I couldn’t blog about it. In fact, the worst part was not getting to see the lovely PennyLane.

The last week has been more of the same featureless existence. I slept a lot, got the hottest buffalo wings known to man with ‘shank, and watched my guilty-pleasure, Battlestar Galactica (the new series, not that crappy 70s one with Richard Hatch and Ben Cartwright or Lorne Green or whatever his name was). I bought Resident Evil 4 on the advice of Minotaur and wasted most of Saturday killing Spanish zombies (almost as fulfilling as killing Spanish people!). I also downloaded the most excellent Channel Four series Spaced, starring Simon Pegg of Shaun of the Dead as well as directed by that film’s director, Edgar Wright. Quite possibly one of the funniest British comedies (I refuse to use the inane appellation “britcom”) to come out in the last decade, right up there with Coupling and Little Britain.

Other than that, nothing. Boring, banal being. Well, except for the times I got drunk. Maybe the next few days will be better. But I fucking doubt it.