Tyler/East Texas

Mortal Kombat?

Written by  on February 24, 2009

Whenever there’s a fatal accident covered by my hometown’s amateurish newspaper, the Tyler Morning Telegraph, they use this graphic on their website. Is it just me, or does it seem to be announcing the death with some level of exuberant glee?

bilde

“Hot Guy Tall Drink Of Water”

Written by  on September 3, 2008

These seem to be from the same lonely, horny guy wandering around Sulphur Springs, Texas:

Hot Guy in Lawn and Garden WalMart Sulphur Springs (Sulphur Springs)


Date: 2008-09-02, 10:46PM CDT

Does anyone know that tall drink of water that was working in lawn and garden department today in WalMart in Sulphur Springs. His name tag said his name was Scotty. He looked to be about 6’2″ 175lbs. earring in both ears. Very hot dude!

  • Location: Sulphur Springs

Hot Guy – Pilot Truck Stop in Sulphur Springs – 35 (Sulphur Springs)


Date: 2008-09-02, 4:00PM CDT

Hey, does anyone know who that tall Hispanic guy is that works at the Pilot Truck Stop in Sulphur Springs. He was working the check-out line around three-thirty pm on Tuesday. He has some tatts on his arm and he is about six foot-one, one hundred-eighty lbs. Really hot looking guy. A major stud.

  • Location: Sulphur Springs

“Your Essence”

Written by  on August 26, 2008

Are you out there? – m4m – 58 (East Texas)


Date: 2008-08-26, 1:27PM CDT

This is a long shot, but several years ago you and I got together at Barnwell Mountain. I was driving a white Nissan pickup. You sat in the passenger seat, wearing gray sweats and I went down on you. Your name is Jim and you’re from Gladewater. I sucked you to completion and swallowed your essence. Sure would like to get together again.

  • Location: East Texas

“Hairy-Chested Longview U-Haul Guy” Sounds Like A Lame Super Hero

Written by  on August 25, 2008

Where R U hairy-chested Longview U-Haul guy? – m4m – 42 (Longview area)


Date: 2008-08-24, 1:48AM CDT

You worked at the Longview U-Haul store on hwy 80 a few years back. You had dark hair, a moustache, and a delicious-looking hairy chest. Ummmmm.

A few times we gave each other the kind of look that makes your cock pop up in your pants, but we never did get some alone time to see if we were thinking the same thing.

If you’re still out there and you’re into men like I think you are, PLEASE contact me. I’m still dying to find out what it was we were both thinking about.

  • Location: Longview area

Did His Face Really Speak To You?

Written by  on August 6, 2008

kroger – “staff 7″ – m4m (henderson)


Date: 2008-08-05, 5:53PM CDT

your shirt said “staff”, your face said “hairy”… so how ’bout sliding your hairy staff down my throat. ID yourself with the color of the shirt.

another classic.

Written by  on August 5, 2008

Theif at 1960 & Perry – m4m – 37 (NW Houston)

——————————————————————————–
Reply to: pers-783463034@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-08-04, 10:34PM CDT

Dude, you just came in the Shell station at the corner of Perry and 1960 and stole something. you were a hispanic looking male kinda thick and damn you were hot. nice jeans (tight) and that top with that hat. and them tats were hot as hell too. damn dude. tell me what you stole and what you made it out with and maybe we can hook up. damn you were hot.

You Know…

Written by  on August 5, 2008

…if you haven’t heard from her in a while, maybe you shouldn’t have put her in your will, retard.

Where is my future bride? – m4w – 37 (S. Broadway Tyler)


Date: 2008-08-04, 8:59PM CDT

Dated a girl for a little while and haven’t heard from her lately. If you know where Terri K. is, please let me know. She’s very special to me (in fact, I wrote her into my will)

Mmm…Ice Cream

Written by  on July 30, 2008

I could’ve sworn I posted this bit o’ Craigslist misfortune a while back, but a quick scan o’ the archives shows nothing.

Swann’s man – m4m (Nacogdoches) 33yr

Have a fantasy about servicing a man in a Swann’s icecream uniform. If you work for Swann’s drive by and show me what you got and let me take a sample from that ice cream bar of yours.

Cut My Clothes Off

Written by  on July 26, 2008

Maybe you should get into a wreck or burn down your house to get his attention…

Longview Fire Fighter – 26 (Longview)


Date: 2008-07-26, 12:05AM CDT

Oh my. I saw you at that wreck earlier this week. I was hoping you werent married, but then I saw your ring with all those diamonds. I would sure love to rub your bald head, just once. You are very sexy, nice arms, cute butt. You look so good in all that gear. Then when you took it off and I saw you in your uniform, it was almost more than I could stand. We spoke briefly. You smiled. You have beautiful teeth and eyes that I could get lost in. Even though you are married, happy or not, I would gladly be your play thing if you would consider it. So, if you see this, reply back and tell me where the wreck was and what I said to you to start the short conversation. I am hoping you will put out my fire and rescue me. Cut my clothes off. PLEASE.

White Trash-a-rific

Written by  on July 24, 2008

I’ve underlined the especially creepy/misspelled/white trash part of this Craigslist ad for you…

seeking the beautiful girl at the texaco. – m4w (Palestine)


Date: 2008-07-24, 1:00PM CDT

We met on your first day, at your new job. I was struck by your beauty, and watched over you untill colsing time. With your lovely dark hair and sparkling eyes, I would have guessed you to be still in your teens. I know that you are unmarried, with kids. and I didn’t mind that at all.
I’t broke my heart to see all the bruises one yous sexy leggs and lovely arms.
And the marks on your body that make-up can’t hide just makes me want to cry.
I don’t know the jerk that done that to you, But know this,”REAL MEN DON’T HIT WOMEN”, and they never will. I want you, and would never treat you like garbage.
please contact me, if you really want a change.
I’ll be right here waiting.
Marty


Wow…learn some grammar and spelling before you start rescuing battered women, Marty.