SomethingSoWrong
Funniness Negates Wrongness
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
Timmy, Again
Hi this is Timmy again. I hope you don't mind me writing you again but I'm so excited that I just had to tell all my good friends at somethingsowrong all about it. Guess what! No, that's not it silly. I'm not getting a new body instead of my gunny sack filled with mulch. I'm going to Six flags in dallas! I've never been to texas before, but my mommy is taking me there to see my cousins in east texas while my daddy gets to spend a month at a really neat motel called statejail. And mommy said that while we're there, we can go to sixflags. It's probably not as neat as disneyworld or dollywood, but it's probably better than silver dollar city. We have a six flags in georgia, right near where I live, but I've never been there. My uncle mike was going to take me one time, but instead we went to this fun place where there are these horses that run around and around this track and you get to give money to this fat man in this cage-thing and he gives you a piece of paper and sometimes you can trade that piece of paper in for more money. Uncle mike made me promise that I wouldn't tell anyone that we went to the horsey place. Oops, now everyone who reads this will know. I hope uncle mike doesn't get mad and break any of my sticks. Me and mommy get to ride a greyhound to the airport tomorrow. I wonder how people can ride greyhounds because they're small. Maybe it's a giant greyhound like Clifford. The airport is all the way in atlanta and it's called hearts field. I wonder if there are a bunch of hearts laying around in a big field there because that would be funny. Maybe they will give me one of the hearts to replace the old rotten onion that i have in my gunny sack body that my mommy says is my heart. It smells weird and there are leaves growing out of it. At the airport, we get to get on a airplane and fly in it, just like angels. Maybe when we're in the clouds, we'll see some angels like my uncle joe and aunt lucy. Mommy says we're flying on something called a delta. She says it's an airline and that they have a bunch of airplanes that fly up to where the angels are everyday. She got our tickets really cheap on a website that has T.J. Hooker on it. T.J. Hooker is one of my daddy's favorite shows after the nascar show. I wonder what flying will be like. My friend ned said that it makes your ears hurt, but gramma said that's because you fly so high that you can hear the angels singing and people that aren't angels aren't s'posed to hear angels voices and that's what makes it hurt. I'm kind of scared that we might crash because I saw an airplane that crashed on TV onetime but mommy says that we won't crash because the angels will hold up the airplane and that's how they fly. But then I asked her how come the angels didn't hold up the airplanes that crashed on tv into that building and she said it was because there were bad people on the plane. I guess the angels don't like bad people flying so sometimes they make the airplanes crash to punish the bad guys. Mommy said that on the airplane they have waitresses that come around and give you drinks and I can have any drink I want. I hope they have my favoritetest drink RC cola, but if they don't have that maybe I can have a big red or an orange drink, even though mommy and daddy don't let me have orange or big red because they say that those are nigger drinks. Nigger is my daddy and mommy's special word for black people. I have a couple of black friends at George McGovern elementary school where I go to school and I think my dad is friends with their dads because my dad sometimes plays jokes on them by dressing up like a ghost and burning wood in their front yards to scare them. It's like it's holloween all the time, except daddy never takes me trick-or-treating. Daddy says that I can't be friends with Reggie and tony anymore they're my black friends but I can't be friends with them anymore because hanging around with them might make me talk funny or maybe make me want to make babies with a black girl when I grow up. But daddy said that maybe one day I can go with him and his friends when they go scare reggie and tony's parents. I can't wait! Dressing up like a ghost would be neat! Especially because daddy said I could me someone called the grand wizard and that would be cool because one of my favorite movies is the wizard of oz and he was really nice but he was just a regular wizard so a grand wizard must be really nice. I bet he has lots of candy and toys. Maybe he even has an airplane like the one that i'm going to fly to texas in tomorrow. Texas sounds like a really neat place and so does dallas where six flags is. I saw dallas on a tv show once at aunt eunice's house and there was a guy on there named JR just like my friend JR from down the street. JR is seventeen years old and was a freshman at Buzzard County high school until last week when they told him he didn't have to come to school ever again because he smokes this special grass that makes him really smart. So now all he does is work on his trans am and collect guns. He has a whole shed full of guns behind his mom's trailer and I think that one day he wants to be a bill collector because he told me he was going to make everybody pay. The airplane we're flying tomorrow goes right to dallas at the airport there. My cousins are going to be there to drive us in their new pickup truck to east texas. I haven't ever been in a new pickup truck and their's has a bedliner and extended cab and they're going to get some twine to tie my wheelchair into the back with and I get to ride up front with my mommy and my cousins. I have to go now. Mommy says that we have to get up real early in the morning so that the giant greyhound can pick us up in front of the feed store. I promise I'll write you back real soon and tell you all about the angels carrying our airplane and six flags and texas. Bye!