Find any buried treasure in there, Paris?
Archive for December, 2005
Kind of answers that question, eh?
Badass Biker Bob wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces
himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. Bob looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table: “Honey,
breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love you.”
So he goes to the kitchen, and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Bob asks, “Son, what happened last night?”
His son says, “Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and delirious, broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door.”
Confused, Badass Bob asks, “So, why is everything in order and so
clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?”
His son replies, “Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, “Lady, leave me alone, I’m married’!”
Reader Grace Manito Hugo Rodham Duffy-Arquette recently dropped us an email about a contest that her employer Travelocity is holding. Here’s what her email said:
Take a look at the latest promotion I’ve been working on at Travelocity…We have “streakers” and wild posters all over New York for the next two weeks promoting an event we’re holding in Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
For all of you that can’t be in New York for the festivities, be sure to TUNE IN and see all the fun that night…you can also go to www.travelocity.com/redhat to print out a red hat pattern, take a picture of you and some friends wearing the hats and upload/enter for a chance to win a trip for 4 to Las Vegas for New Year’s 2007!
Here are a couple of the pictures she sent:
Notice that in this “streaker” pic, you can clearly see the guy’s unit, or as we like to call it, his “man-toe“
Yay! Giant posters of naked people!
And let’s hope that these red hat women won’t be doing any streaking any time soon:
On December 17th, we celebrated Rifleman’s 30th birthday at the Ginger Man in Dallas. A gallery of photos has been posted here.
If you’ll remember, last week I exposed the Government of Canada/Gouvernement du Canada’s sinister plot to do harm to Americans by poisoning us with the secret Maple B nerve gas. Today I received the following email:
Would you please take the picture of my farm operation off of your website! I was apprised of this website through a computer friend of mine.
What you are looking at is a picture of my hog barns — you nut!
No doubt a subtle warning to SSW. Hiding chemical weapons factories as hog farms is the oldest trick in the book–Hitler did it, Hussein did it, and now soon-to-be-jobless PM Paul Martin is doing it. In the interest of my fellow Americans, I have redacted the original post, but I don’t want the Canadians to think I believe their lies.
Besides, would a “nut” make up something like this?
As many of you know, I turned the big three-oh on Thursday. I’m old. Bah. Today I went shopping for the first time as an old man. Here’s my shopping list for your amusement:
…at the Hudson Valley Times Record-Herald website:
Click here for the story