SomethingSoWrong

So after the previous incarnation of SSW withered and died, spammers took over the forums and started using them to promote sex sites. A kind individual tipped me off that this was happening, so I blew away the forums without really perusing what had been posted. And what had been indexed by search engines. As a consequence, a lot of traffic has been coming this way because of people searching for sex-related websites. Here are some of the weirder search terms:

human sex
naughty sex
real mom son sex
MILFS LABIA
boy sex
hmong porn
south indian sex
my first teacher sex
oral sex forums
tamil sex
brother sister sex
haitian gay porn
emo sex

This doesn’t seem to be overly-nice feeling.

So, sometimes, you want to talk about your sexual adventures or, in a lot of cases, misadventures, but you don’t need to go into extreme detail.  Now, Seinfeld gave us “yada, yada, yada”, but that’s no fun.  Instead, HMR and I, along with some others, came up with the following:

The Glossary

Whatnot - Vaginal intercourse.  “We went back to her place, made out and whatnot”.
Whatfor - Oral sex.  “I gave him the whatfor last night”.
Whatever - Masturbation.  “I stayed home last night, surfed the web and whatever”.
Whereabouts - Anal sex.  “I was over at her place or the whereabouts”.
What Have You – The penis.
Wherefor - The vagina.

This jargon is incredibly awesome because people that aren’t in the know use these words in hilarious situations.  Like the other day, when my boss told me “Have a great weekend and whatnot”.  Or this morning, when our billing manager came by to inquire as to whether all of the orders had loaded into the accounting system overnight and asked “Can you check and see if I got a full load last night and whatnot?”

Anyhow, now you know.  Use them.  Listen for them.  Laugh maniacally.

Are you out there? – m4m – 58 (East Texas)

This is a long shot, but several years ago you and I got together at Barnwell Mountain. I was driving a white Nissan pickup. You sat in the passenger seat, wearing gray sweats and I went down on you. Your name is Jim and you’re from Gladewater. I sucked you to completion and swallowed your essence. Sure would like to get together again.

• Location: East Texas

Here‘s their website, for interested parties.

iso throat (kilg hend nac)

poz load for your slimy cunt throat. you’re done when i’m done: your gagging or puking on my PA doesn’t imply that i’m done. ability to swallow liquids quickly will help prevent your smelling like piss on the drive home.

if you’re sending an email asking a bunch of questions, or any questions for that matter, please make sure you send equivalent info about yourself.

flag on, dipshit; when my dick isn’t getting sucked from the ad, i’ll stop reposting. and only then.

More Craigslist misfortune:

http://easttexas.craigslist.org/cas/747759997.html

Someone have the key to my closet PLEASE – m4m – 44 (Longview)

I am very discreet for myself, not even in conversation do I mention gay topics. Wanting to meet up with people who can show me where the rainbow connections are so I can finally experience the touch of a man’s body – maybe yours. I’m 5’6” 170# 6c DDF (I think that means Disease and Drug Free) . Not sure what I am willing to try. I think I would like to meet for coffee or drinks at the bar (if there is one in the area) first and go from there. I do know that men in drag turn my stomach and I just can’t imagine myself under an overweight. I am not prejudice but if I were to try dark, he would have to be super fit and trim. Like Walker Texas’s partner Clarence Gilyard. Send photos and stats please. Willing to travel on my days off.

More Craigslist misfortune…

http://easttexas.craigslist.org/mis/750009125.html

PALESTINE MAN – 54 (palestine texas)

PostingID: 750009125

Belgium:

China:

France:

Argentina:

Helen Mirren

Sure, why not?  But only if she did it in character as the Queen.