Sexy Mutha

Written by  on December 31, 2009

Boomer Sooner is soooo dreamy!

The Best (Worst?) Media Corrections of 2009

Written by  on December 30, 2009

Follow this link for RegretTheError.Com’s compilation of the best media errors and corrections of the year.

Some favorites:

A Nov. 26 article in the District edition of Local Living incorrectly said a Public Enemy song declared 9/11 a joke. The song refers to 911, the emergency phone number.

IN my column on August 22 I suggested that Sharon Osbourne was an unemployed, drugaddled, unfit mum with a litter of feral kids. This was not intended to be taken literally. I fully accept she is none of these things and sincerely apologise to Sharon and her family for my unacceptable comments. Sorry Sharon…

This article was amended on Tuesday 20 January 2009. In our entry on Garrison Keillor’s Lake Wobegon Days, we referred to a Prairie Ho Companion; we meant a Prairie Home Companion. This has been corrected.

Garrison Keillor loves him some pussy, obviously.

:-/

Written by  on December 29, 2009

I feel anxious. Like a black guy at a convention for fat white women.

Glad I Don’t Eat There

Written by  on December 28, 2009

Just walked into the 2nd floor restroom at my office building to witness one of the Spaniards that work in the commissary finish peeing then NOT wash his hands before returning to work. Lesson to take away: don’t eat at the Summit Cafe in the Sterling Commerce Building unless you love urine-infused food.

Just sayin’. That’s all.

Ugh

Written by  on December 28, 2009

So, here I am at work, minding my own business, killing time reading random Wikipedia articles (so far today, I’ve learned about the Tu-114 jet, the 1989-1990 New Jersey Nets and the ease-of-pronunciation-challenged village of Zborczyce, Poland (the land of Po!)), when all I’ve heard all day from the next row of cubes over is constant coughing. And not the slightly-annoying cough of someone with a tickle in their throat, but rather the wet hacking of someone who’s smoked about 50,000 too many unfiltered Camels in their life. I wandered over to investigate who it was and found it to be our DBA, a Chinese man whose only normal annoyance is when he digs into chip bags way too loudly for his mid-afternoon snack.

Does he have swine flu? Avian flu? Did SARS (remember that?) make a comeback?

Who knows? All I know is that it’s fucking annoying, probably exposing me to the Yellow fever and making my eyes feel slanty.

At least he’s not farting constantly, like this guy that used to work in the next cube over. He got fired a couple of years ago, supposedly for laziness and lack of skills (or mad-skillz), but I know the real reason: constant wet farting.

Oh well, back to the grind. The spice must flow. Or something like that.