Lego Masturbator

Written by  on January 10, 2009

This doesn’t seem to be overly-nice feeling.

Euphemisms Are Fun

Written by  on January 9, 2009

So, sometimes, you want to talk about your sexual adventures or, in a lot of cases, misadventures, but you don’t need to go into extreme detail.  Now, Seinfeld gave us “yada, yada, yada”, but that’s no fun.  Instead, HMR and I, along with some others, came up with the following:

The Glossary

Whatnot - Vaginal intercourse.  “We went back to her place, made out and whatnot”.
Whatfor - Oral sex.  “I gave him the whatfor last night”.
Whatever - Masturbation.  “I stayed home last night, surfed the web and whatever”.
Whereabouts - Anal sex.  “I was over at her place or the whereabouts”.
What Have You – The penis.
Wherefor - The vagina.

This jargon is incredibly awesome because people that aren’t in the know use these words in hilarious situations.  Like the other day, when my boss told me “Have a great weekend and whatnot”.  Or this morning, when our billing manager came by to inquire as to whether all of the orders had loaded into the accounting system overnight and asked “Can you check and see if I got a full load last night and whatnot?”

Anyhow, now you know.  Use them.  Listen for them.  Laugh maniacally.