SomethingSoWrong
Funniness Negates Wrongness
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Yet Another Timmy Letter
Here are links to Timmy's previous letters:
First
Second
Third
Fourth


Hey everyone its timmy and its been a really really long time since i wroted to my most favoritest website in the whole wide world somethingsowrong. Actually I'm not really writing this but my mom is because its really hard to type when your arms are made from sticks but shes a really good typer because she went to secretary school back home in georgia for like two whole weeks before they made her leave. She said that she had to leave because the man teaching it (have you ever heard of a man teacher? everyone knows that all teachers are women) said the way she smelled could knock down a buffalo at 50 yards, but mommy says taht really everyone was just jealous of her looks and her boobs and that shes going to soo the secretary school for diskgrimination.

Guess what? that's right--my daddy finally got out of statejail! so to celebrate the end of his vacation in statejail, me and mommy decided to drive all the way from my cousins house in texas where we have been staying for the last year to meet daddy for another vacation so we went to new orleans. I was so excited because mommy said that there were pirates there and black people that do something called voodoo. I sometimes do something called doodoo but daddy just says its only compost because off all the mulch and insects and worms in my gunnysack body.

Our trip to new orleans was exciting. we droved the car for like a whole day to get there but we had to stop for an hour in a town in weeziana to get gas and for some reason the gas was really expensive and mommmy couldnt afford it for a while but luckly a couple of nice truckers bought us some gas and all mommy had to do was spend some time with them in their trucks while I gotted to play a video game called packman in the truckstop and a nice waitress gave me some grits to eat. it was really fun. Their trucks must have been really not comfortable because mommy was walking weird for a whole day after that and she looked like she felled down and hit her eye on a doorknob again just like she used to when daddy was at home because she had a big old bruise under her eye. she almost looked like a clown like i gotted to see at mcdondals one time.

In new orleans we met daddy at a motel 6 and the room was really nice and I got to play around in the parking lot for a whole hour while mommy and daddy talked in our room and when they finished talking mommy must have hit her other eye on a doornob because it was bruised too. Shes really klutzy! while we were there, daddy spent a lot of time at a place in this part of town called the french quarters at a place called Big Easy's and mommy said that there weere girls there that walked around with there boobies showing and they had beer and that daddy went there becaseu tehy didn't have beer at statejail and he wanted to drink beers.

One night mommy and i were watching tv at our motel and they said that tehre was a her-a-cane coming and that we should leave town so mommy told daddy and he siad that "we ain't leaving new orleans just because of some rain".

the next day daddy went to drink some more beers and mommy and I saw it start to rain and she decided that we needed to go to this big place called the superdome because thats where the tv said we needed to be, so we walked over to the superdoem and it was this really big room and there was a football field in the middle of it, but guess what? No one was playing football. we didn't know were daddy was but the wind started blowing really hard and it was raining and all of the sudden it started rainging inside the superdome and people were crying and stuff, but I was brave because you have to be brave when you have a mulch-filled gunny sack for a body and sticks for bones and arms an stuff.

we had to stay in the superdome for a day and i gotted to see a man poop on the floor. when we finally wented outside, they'd turned the hole city into a big swimming pool! It was neat. There were people swimiming and riding in boats and we saw some helicoppers and some people with guns and they were shoooting at each other and then we had to go back inside, but since the outside was a swimming pool, my gunny sack body gotted wet and after a while grass and stuff started growing out of me and mommy said I smelled like the septic tank and I had to lay out in the hot sun next to a black woman who was sleeping with blood coming out of her nose and flies landing on her to dry out.

I gotted dry after two days and mommy said that she didn't know where daddy went but maybe he had ranned away or was in heaven with grandma and that we had to ride on a bus and go to a place in texas called houston. the bus ride was long and hot and i was thirsty but when we gotted to houston we went to this big building called the astronautdome and guess what? There was a football field inside this room too! That's so funny! Who ever heard of an inside football field? And I gotted to go to two of them! Since we camed to houston I've made lots of new firends, even though mommy says I should be playing with them because they are negros (but she uses a dirty word instead). she says taht we might get to go back to georgia soon and that will be fun, but not as much fun as the bestest vacation ever!