Funniness Negates Wrongness
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Vaguely Sexual
Here's a list of sexual quotes from Willy Wonka. Enjoy!

Bill (candy store owner): "Hey, take it easy. You'll get a stomachache if you swallow it like that."

Mr. Turkentine (Charlie’s teacher): "Come and give me a hand."

Grandma Josephine: "I did the end pieces with the little tassels."

Charlie: "Here, everybody have a bite."

Willy Wonka: "I'm so glad you could come."

Mr. Salt: "Is this a trick or something, Wonka?"

Willy Wonka: "What an adorable little boy you have."

Willy Wonka: "And as soon as your outer vestments are in hand, we'll begin."

Mrs. Teevee: "Somebody's touching me."

Charlie: "Quick, Augustus, grab this!"

Grandpa Joe: "Oh, looks good enough to eat."

Wonka: "Suck 'em and you can spit in seven different colors."

Mr. Salt: "Nuts."

Mr. Salt: "Hang on, darling! Just close your eyes and hang on tight!"

Mr. Salt: "Shouldn't you be wearing rubber gloves?"

Wonka: "You can suck 'em and suck 'em and suck 'em, and they'll never get any smaller."

Grandpa Joe: "We're really high now!"

Violet Beauregarde: "It's hot and creamy. I can actually feel it running down my throat!"

Wonka: "Oh, well, I'll get it right in the end."

Veruca Salt: "I want a ball."

Veruca Salt: "Give it to me."

Mr. Salt: "Hold on! Veruca, sweetheart, Daddy's coming!"

Mike: "It's getting in my eye!"

Mrs. Teevee: "I'm soaked—it'll never come out!"

Charlie: "Let's do it again, Mr. Wonka."

Mrs. Teevee: "Oh, my dress, my hair, my face! I'm sending you the cleaning bill, Mr. Wonka!"

Wonka: "Here it comes. There it is. Take it."

Wonka: "Taste it—it's delicious. It's just gotten smaller, that's all."

Mrs. Teevee: "Mike, get away from that thing!"

Wonka: "Well, fortunately small boys are extremely springy and elastic."