SomethingSoWrong
Funniness Negates Wrongness
Friday, June 25, 2004
Another Letter From Timmy
Hi it's timmy again and I just wanted to let everyone at my favorite website somethingsowrong.com know that i made it to texas okay. Yesterday morning mommy woke me up really early and put my very favoritetest dale earnhart shirt on me and we walked down to the feed store to where the greyhound comes to take people to the airport in atlanta. It was so early in the morning that it was still dark outside! That's so funny. On the way to the feed store we got to stop at the gas station and get orange juice and apple pies. The apple pies come in little green packages and have a picture of a magician on the front and are called hostess and I really like them. They're my favorite breakfast except for grits. I wish they made grits pies. One time we ran out of mulch to put in my gunny sack body and it was too late to drive over to birmingham to the home depot so we had to go to walmart and get a big bag of grits to put in my gunny sack. It was like I ate them without having to swallow! When we got to the feed store Mr. Smith the owner was setting seeds and stuff outside. I wanted to see the big bins of seed but mommy wouldn't let me because some might be blown by the wind into my gunny sack and I might sprout! That's funny because then I would have to shave like daddy or put that hot wax on me like mommy does to her upper lip. I was really excited to get to see the giant greyhound that would carry us to the airport I wondered if it would pick us up and carry us around by the back of our necks like my dog Bo used to carry around her puppies before they drowneded in the backyard in the washbin because daddy said that the puppies cried too much and that meant that they wanted to go swimming. But I guess even though they wanted to go swimming they didn't know how to swim and they just sunk into the bottom of the washbin. After the first one couldn't swim daddy kept putting more puppies in to try to rescue the other ones but they all drownded. So we waited for the greyhound and when it finally came it wasn't a dog but a bus! A bus that mommy said was called a greyhound because it was silver and silver is like grey but shinier. I think that that's funny! Riding inside the bus was more fun than having a dog carry you around by the neck because that might hurt after a while and also I was afraid that the giant dog might bite my neck too hard and break some of my sticks and then i might not get to go to texas to see my cousins. It was a long ride to atlanta airport but we got to stop in a lot of little towns on the way there that I've never heard of it was so much fun. We finally gotted to the airport at lunch time and I was really hungry but mommy said that the food at the Mcdondalds in the airport was too expensive but that they would give us food on the airplane and that I could wait. I bet you didn't know that they give you food on airplanes and they also give you your favorite drink. We had to wait in a long line at the airport to get to our plane and mommy said it was for security to make sure that no bad guys have guns. When we got to the front of the line this nice man used a black stick that went "beep beep" and waved it all around me and he said it was to make sure that I didn't have any metal on me and I said that all i had was sticks and mulch and he laughed and helped me take my shoes off so that they could go through an x-rated machine. My daddy has some movies that he wont let me watch called x-rated and if they're about shoes going through a machine then i don't want to watch them, The nice man started taking off my shoes and I thought that he was going to help me change clothes just like my grown-up friend charlie at school helps me change clothes. Speaking of charlie i already miss him and i've only been in texas for one day! Charlie showed me his stick that makes mayonaise between his legs again the other day and this time he let me taste the mayonaise but since i didn't have any bread to put it on charlie let me just suck it out of his magic stick like it was a crazy straw! I didn't want to hurt charlies feelings because he was nice to let me taste his mayonaise but it must have been spoiled because it didn't taste like the mayonaise that is in mommy and daddy's frigerator. On the airplane I got to sit next to the window and it was really loud when we took off and it made my gunny sack tummy feel tingly when we went into the air and I could see the whole city! The waitress came around with this little cart and asked me what kind of drink i wanted and i said that i wanted orange crush but they didn't have it and they didn't have big red either or RC so I had to have coke. I told the waitress that I wanted a happy meal but she just laughed at me and said that all they have are pretzels and gave me a bag and I was kind of sad because mommy said that they had food on the plane but since i was so hungry i didn't think that the pretzels would make me full but i ate them anyhow and looked out the window and i could see lots of stuff like citys and lakes and rivers and even some clouds. But i didn't get to see any angels and i was sad because i hope that i could see angels like aunt lucy and uncle joe but they must have been busy because I didn't see them but I could hear the angels singing and it sounded like a really loud whine. After a while we got to texas and we landed at the airport in dallas and i hoped that i got to see some cowboys and people riding horses but there weren't any cowboys and I didn't see any horses. My cousins were at the airport and they used twine to tie my wheelchair in the back of the pickup truck and i got to ride in the front in mommys lap and they drove us to their farm in east texas near a little town called mount pleasant. On my cousins farm they have a hay bailer and a hay rake and a tractor and other farm equitment for sale. They have to sell it because they don't get money from the government any more to grow something called sore gum. I had sore gums one time but then my aunt showed me how to use this stick with stiff hair on it to brush my teef and now they aren't sore anymore but sometimes they still bleed but that's okay because i kind of like the way it tastes. I got to go now, but I will be sure to write my friends at somehtingsowrong.com again real soon. Bye!