SomethingSoWrong
Funniness Negates Wrongness
Monday, April 05, 2004
David Beckham FITB
Some of you may remember FITB--the lame Fill-in-the-Blanks game on the now-dead Prodigy online service. Today, SSW presents David Beckham FITB. Our story so far: It seems David Beckham, who plays soccer, or "football", for Real Madrid (but, strangely, won't ride their trains) and former mid-fielder for Manchester United, has been caught cheating on his wife, Posh Spice (aka Victoria Adams) with his personal assistant, Rebecca Loos (or is that "Loose"?). Apparently, Beckham and Loos were exchanging SMS messages via cellphone discussing and talking about their "activities". Several papers have run a couple of their exchanges, but have redacted the juicier words. For today's game, fill in the blanks in the following (feel free to send in your answers to feedback@somethingsowrong.com. We'll post our best guesses in a few days):

On March 10, hours before he played in the Champions League clash with Bayern Munich, it is claimed that Beckham, said to be alone in his hotel - texted Miss Loss.

Here are the messages they exchanged:

David Beckham: When u start your job? (Miss Loos left SFX in November)

Rebecca Loos: Sign contract next week. Can't stop smiling jumping around

DB: Happy for you.If you have any jumping around to do come here

RL: Where?

DB: At the hotel?

RL: Which?

DB: Same one as last time - but a lot of press today mightnot be a good idea. Maybe next time

RL: OK will stop jumping and save it for when I see you and just keep smiling till then

DB: OK you need to save all that energy for ____.

RL: Is it ____?

DB: Very, very ____, thinking of your ____ and the ____.

RL: Remember the last time. I have never ____ so hard

DB: Now I am doing something, think about your ____.

RL: ____ your ____.

DB: Can't wait for that. When can we do this and where?

RL: It's difficult. You know best. Me always free.

DB: OK we have to try

later...

RL: U made me so horny the other day had nightmare trying to focus. U playing tonight?

DB: Playing tonight. Glad I can still do that to you

RL: That and so much more

DB: What u doing now?

RL: Waiting for more, enjoying every second

DB: Shame I can't hear and see that. Would be nice to join in

RL: You can join in any time you want and any way u want

DB: Where are u, in your bedroom?

RL: Yes am home alone

DB: Can just imagine how ____ ____ ____ u are

RL: U should see me, naked with only a white cotton G-string

DB: Love the sound of that cotton

RL: Call me then you'll hear the real sound

It is claimed that Beckham rings then quickly hangs up after laughing on the line

RL: Did you hang up or was that me? Was just about to get started!

DB: Someone can in my room. ____ I was looking forward to that. Have u any of my stuff that you need to bring round

to me?

RL: What sort of stuff? Why uat hotel? What do u need?

DB: Any stuff u need to bring to the house one night. I am away right now. Just lay back and think of what I done to

you and ____ ____ ____

RL: Sorry for delay but just ____ so ____ and ____. Am sure I can find something to give u. R u still same house?

DB: Yes. And I'm sure u have something to give me

RL: Well just think about it and when safe etc let me know...just u and me in the dark alone...well candlelit dark.

DB: Not a problem, we will have fun

RL: It was nice to hear u laugh. When I see u I want to hear you groan and moan. I can't wait

DB: Don;t worry, you will and I want to hear you scream


Late-breaking news-SSW Exclusive!

It has just been learned that Rebecca Loos' cell phone is a Nokia 6600 with a built-in digital camera. Sources have supplied SSW with a picture taken with said phone by Ms. Loos that she apparently snapped just as David Beckham prepared to perform oral sex upon her: