SomethingSoWrong
Funniness Negates Wrongness
Thursday, January 08, 2004
White Trash
I stopped by a Wal-Mart the other day. I try to avoid it, but I can't. It keeps drawing me back in, with its low-prices for groceries that don't require you to belong to some stupid club that hands out plastic cards that attach to your keyring. That, and it's convenient. Unfortunately, being that it is, after all, Wal-Mart, it seems to draw a lot of the "lesser" people of our society--white trash. Actually, I lucked out on my last visit, being that I visited the new store on the border of Grapevine and Southlake--two upper-middle-class cities in the Metroplex. Most of the people were well-dressed businessmen and soccer moms, going about their shopping without a care. Unfortunately, bringing down the level of class (as if there was much to begin with), was a extremely trashy couple. The husband looked like he was wearing clothes that hadn't been washed since 1993 (I was certain his hair hadn't) and the wife was your typical dumb white trash woman. Plain look, open mouth (with messed-up teeth) and straight, stiff hair. She was pregnant, not surprisingly. And she already had a kid that looked to be around 6 months old. The really disturbing thing was that she was breastfeeding the kid as she walked around, holding it on one arm. And not with one of those blouses designed for breastfeeding, with the discreet opening. No, she had her sweatshirt pulled up over her belly with one tit hanging out--fucking disgusting. I stared in fright...So did the other shoppers. Finally, a Wal-Mart management-type guy came over and said something to her, but I was too far away to hear his words. Apparently, it was about the breastfeeding. The woman flew into a rage, saying that it was her God-given right to breastfeed her kid and that her kid was hungry and needed to eat. The husband tried to calm her down, but she wouldn't listen. She just stormed out of the store, pushing her way past the manager. I wanted to follow them out to see what the were driving, but I was in somewhat of a hurry.

This experience got me thinking about white trash and how they always have names that just jump out at you with trashiness. I've compiled a list of some of my favorites. Any other suggestions to add to the compendium?

Chase
Lacey
Kasey or Kasey Jo
Tammi
Bud
Bobby Ray
Bo
Caryn
Stormy
Donny
Jewel
Dwayne
Jesse
Bud
Kortlynn
Brelynn
Corah
Sydney
Laney
Kaden
Lexi
Autumn
Bailey
Brielle
Sheri
Kari
2 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
You call yourself rifleman and didn't put your own name on the white trash list, I think yours takes the top!

Blogger Rifleman said...
I'm called Rifleman because of my massive genitals. Oh, and unlike these examples, "Rifleman" is not my given name, fucktard.