Funniness Negates Wrongness
Monday, July 21, 2003
If you can’t laugh at vagrants, who can you laugh at? (Vol. 1)

One of the best things about things about Houston is the wide selection of bums decorating the feeder road stop lights. Even better are some of the signs that these bums use to try and get you to support their vices. Here are some of my favorites (with commentary of course):

Just today I saw the most pathetic looking guy holding a sign that said, “Vets never give up.” While this may be true, this guy had obviously given up on lots of things including: showers, his dignity, getting a job and keeping his teeth.

My next favorite sign wasn’t exactly funny itself, it was the way I read it that made me laugh. I pulled up to a stop light and looked at this guy’s sign. I had reread it several times before I realized that the guy was staring back at me. I quickly turned away so he wouldn’t think I was about to give him booze money. After I drove off I repeated the sign out loud and finally understood this guy’s plea for sympathy was not was not a new form of street art, a Homeless Haiku, if you will. I inserted punctuation to convey how I read the sign.

“Homeless vet.
Hungry kidneys.
Failing God.
Will bless you.”

-Dirty guy by the side of the road

The "Failing God" line, which I took for some sort of self criticism, almost had me in tears.

I think this next one is my all time favorite. I almost considered giving this guy some cash.

“Why lie? I need some beer.”

You can’t argue with that.

More to come . . . .