SomethingSoWrong
Funniness Negates Wrongness
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
Jew Mex
This morning, I stopped at a gas station to fill up. OK, thatís a lie, I only put in $5.00 worth, but thatís not the point of the story. The point is that I was serious parched. My mouth had a nasty feeling in it and my throat was all dry. I went inside and headed for the drink cooler. I was a bit sleepy feeling, so I thought Iíd get a Red Bull to give me a little perk-upper. Alas, they were out of Red Bull except in the sugar free form and God knows Iím not gonna touch that stuff. They had the Red Bull knock offs, like Blue Balls, Yellow Antelope, Purple Horseshoes, Pink Hearts, and Green Clovers. So I decided to go back to my old fallback, Orange Juice. You canít go wrong with OJ, unless heís hacking some people to death. Before I spied the OJ, my eyes fell onto something somewhat familiar. Jumex. I was in the mood for something different, so I grabbed a can of their Guava Nectar. I paid, walked out to my car, popped the top, and took a sip. Oh my, heaven and all that is good. I drove away and finished the can almost before I was out of the parking lot. I needed more, but I couldnít just pull back in and go buy more. I decided to just stop at the next station and get some, crossing my fingers that they carried it. I walked inside and luckily enough they did have some. They didnít have Guava, but they did carry Peach and Mango, so I grabbed a can of each. They are tasty, but I donít think either can match up to the sheer wonder that is Guava Nectar. Oh, and donít try to crush the can against your head, its nearly indestructible. Ouch.

On another note, Iíve been listening to a lot of Led Zeppelin lately. Iíve also had this strange urge to go out and buy some Aleister Crowley books. Yeah, and then I could sew some mystical symbols onto my clothes and then my drummer will die shortly after I get wrapped up into the occult. Not really, I donít have a drummer. OK, so they are one of the greatest bands ever, but there is one thing that seriously bothers me about them. Robert Plantís jeans. Most pictures you find of him, heíll be wearing jeans so tight you can clearly make out his ďareaĒ. Thatís just not cool.

ďHey lady--you got the love I need
Maybe more than enough.
Oh Darling... walk a while with me
You've got so much...Ē
- Led Zeppelin
ďOver the Hills and Far AwayĒ