SomethingSoWrong
Funniness Negates Wrongness
Monday, March 03, 2003
A Novel Proposal...
Today's blog is formatted as a chapter by chapter breakdown of my weekend as if it were a proposal for a novel.

Chapter 1: Wherein I, being the main character, drive to Dallas from Tyler (a hole, but a world capital of barbeque). Mainly uneventful, but some Russ Martin on the radio keeps the reader in a constant fit of laughter.

Chapter 2: Arrival at Rifleman's. Sitting around, watching TV. Arrange to pick up Josh.

Chapter 3: Pick up Josh. Eat at Who's Who Burger. Head to the Lakewood Landing.

Chapter 4: Drink at Lakewood Landing. Meet up with Jimmy and Ex-Girlfriend. Meeting goes surprisingly well. Head across street to Tipperary Inn and enjoy live Irish folk music and Riverdance-like dancing. Get free drink because I spill one of mine, but waitress thinks it's her fault. Decide to view 3D porn.

Chapter 5: Ex-Girlfriend departs as Rifleman, Josh, Jimmy and I head to Angelika to see 3D porn. Meet up with Josh's friend, Whitney. Watch 3D porn. (Here is the climax of the novel, a little early, but fitting).

Chapter 6: Replace Ren McCormack with Hairy Balls as my new hero. Part ways with Josh, Jimmy and Whitney. Go to Rifleman's to sleep.

Chapter 7: Wake up around noon on Saturday. Pick up Jimmy. Eat at some really tasty pizza place in Deep Ellum. Drop Jimmy off so he can meet up with his friend Chris who is in town. Joke with Rifleman about how Jimmy is going on a date with Chris.

Chapter 8: Back at Rifleman's. Watch the disturbing film, Rules of Attraction. Get some Taco Bell. Go to Flying Saucer for drinks. Enjoy drinks, but tired. Return to Rifleman's for more sleep.

Chapter 9: Again, wake up around noon. Go to eat at EZ's. Pick up olives for my mom at Central Market. Go to the Inwood to watch "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" starring Audrey Tautou. Pick up a dozen Krispy Kreme dough-nuts. Leave Dallas.

Chapter 10: Return to Tyler. Meet friends at Starbucks. Laugh. Get tour of house my friend Matt will be moving into soon. Go home. Decide that if my weekend were a novel, it would be very boring.